Heidi's & Colonoscopies

As promised…A story about Nick LeMasters’ belligerent ways when he has any sort of surgery. This story comes from his colonoscopy. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, mostly because he’s going under the knife for some sort of nose/smell issue. Apparently, he has a 70% blockage. Personally, I say keep the blockage. I’m at 100% smell capacity and it's no picnic. The things I’ve smelled…

We’ll see if the surgery even happens. I think he was a little put off when my mom told him about a patient that came to the hospital. Apparently, he had the same procedure and has had a constant runny nose for the past year. This story was followed by her telling my dad, “I’m not going to put up with that.”

Anyway. About a year ago my dad went in for his colonoscopy. I had never seen him on any drugs before…but this way eye opening. He came home with my mom and was totally out of it. He sat down on the couch and the following exchange happened as my mom was putting his clothes away.

Mom: Nick. What are these?
Dad: What?
Mom: These socks?
Dad: I got them at the hospital. I liked them.
Mom: I specifically told you these were not to come home with us! They're gross. You snuck them in the bag when I wasn’t looking.
Dad: Of course I did! I love those socks.
Mom: See. This is why I hate when you get stuff done. You think you’re a little general and in charge…I’ve got news for you buddy…YOU ARE NOT. These are going in the trash.

1 Hour Later:
Dad: I’m hungry.
Mom: I’ll make you some cream of wheat.
Dad: I’m not eating that! I want a sandwich. Let’s go to Heidi’s.
Mom: We are not doing that. You need to rest. You shouldn’t be eating that big of a meal anyway.
Dad: We’re going. I want an egg salad sandwich.

We Drove to Heidi’s…He ate half a sandwich and turned white…he threw up on the way home…

Mom: Are you kidding me? I told you this would happen!
Dad: It has nothing to do with the sandwich. It’s your driving. Anyone would get sick.
Mom: So we’re done with this conversation. Go take a nap. We’ll talk when you’re not being mean.

Looking forward to next week! I’ve got news for you Nick LeMasters, we’re not taking any orders from you!