I am not a camper. I don’t understand it. I’m happy to go out hiking or fishing, but why do I have to sleep on the ground, while freezing, and let’s be honest not smelling all that great? No, I’m all about spending the day outside followed by a shower and comfortable bed.
Some would disagree with me, including my brother Ryan. Every year he plans a guys camping trip. It’s an overnighter for himself, my nephew Zach, and Gramps…soon my nephew Nick will be able to join them! It wasn’t until this year that I realized they aren’t camping at all. Well, they are if you consider Troop Beverly Hills to be a camping movie.
Before Leaving:
Dad: Did you get the burgers and guacamole from Tony’s?
Me: Yes. You guys are really roughing it with your gourmet food.
Dad: Yeah. Well I like to eat quality food.
Me: What is that? What are you bringing?
Dad: My iPad. I want to read before I go to bed.
Me: Are you kidding me? You don’t bring electronics camping. It’s about getting back to the basics. WHAT IS THAT?
Dad: A blow up mattress. I’m not sleeping on the ground.
Me: Wow. Oh. My. Gosh. This isn’t camping.
Packing The Food:
Me: I noticed you didn’t put breakfast food on your list, so I didn’t get you anything for the morning.
Dad: Yeah. We go to IHOP.
Me: Stop it. Are you serious?
Dad: Do you know how time consuming cooking breakfast is? No. I’m not doing that.
Me: This isn’t camping. I don’t even know what to call this, but it’s not camping.
Later That Night:
Ring. Ring. Ring.
Me: Hello?
Dad: Hey! What are you guys up to?
Me: Are you kidding me right now? No. Why are you calling? This is male bonding time. Camping. You don’t make phone calls.
Who knew camping had become so high class? I guess this is their GQ camping trip. I bet Oprah would be willing to attend a LeMasters’ campout.
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