I’m about to head back to work and realize that I need to
get all of my travel blogs done. So where were we? Ah yes, I was heading to
Naples, Italy. From Naples we would drive to Pompeii to tour the city and hike
Mt. Vesuvius. I had never hiked a volcano, so I was very excited about the prospect.
It was an eight-hour day and let’s just say, I learned a lot of, um, well, hmm,
interesting facts about Pompeii’s extra-curricular activities.
Pompeii:
As previously discussed, I didn’t wear the headphones on
these tours. I’m not into having things touch me when it’s 100 degrees out and
I’m surrounded by thousands of people. Looking back, I probably should have
worn the headphones in Pompeii. It would have saved this semi-conservative girl
quite a few shocks.
Walking through the
city:
Travel Companion: So that’s where they kept the gladiators.
You know, women used to pay A LOT of money to be with gladiator.
Me: I know. I’ve seen the movie Gladiator. I know all about
it. Anyway, do you hear her keep saying look at the arrows in the stone
walkways?
Travel Companion: Yeah.
Me: Is it just me, but I’m not seeing arrows, I’m seeing,
um…
Travel Companion: You’re not seeing things. That’s a penis.
It’s a penis carved into a stone walkway.
Me: I knew it! Is she saying why?
Travel Companion: She keeps saying that it’s pointing to
some street that we’ll go down.
Me: Huh. Um. Okay. Weird.
Travel Companion: Yeah. I’m gonna take a picture of it.
Waiting in line to
enter a small building:
Me: Why do I keep hearing her say, “It was like McDonald’s?”
Travel Companion: I have no idea. I hope this line moves
fast, it’s so hot out here.
Me (as we enter): OH! MY! GOSH! WHAT IS GOING ON?
Travel Companion: YES! Best thing I’ve seen the whole trip.
I get the McDonald’s reference. Look at the menu!
Me: This used to be a whore house! So gross. What is going
on. Oh! My! Gosh! Stop taking pictures of “the menu.”
Travel Companion: This is fantastic. I can probably tell you
the names…
Me: Stop. No. Stop talking. Well, at least we have an answer
about the “arrows” now.
Mt. Vesuvius:
And so after being scarred for life, we headed to Mt.
Vesuvius. Did I mention that we would be hiking this volcano at 1pm in 100
degree weather? Did I mention that at this point my body had swelled so much
that it probably looked like I was five months pregnant? Oh, did I mention that
this isn’t like hiking a mountain, where as you climb it gets cooler? No! As
you climb, in the ash, it only gets hotter. Like Hell.
Look at my face. No, a bee didn’t sting me. Freaking Mediterranean
heat!
I was willing to put all of this aside because I was hiking
a volcano. Now, I think we know that I have a tendency to romanticize things.
So, while I was hiking this beast of a volcano all I could think about was that
movie Dante’s Peak. I kept thinking I
was going to see some lava. HELLO! If there were lava, we’d be in trouble. So
when I got to the top and saw this…. I was a little annoyed.
DIRT! Anyway. We stayed up there for about thirty minutes and enjoyed the view of Pompeii. Then this happened:
Travel Companion 1: I really don't feel like walking down.
Me: It won't be that bad. At least it's down hill.
Travel Companion 2: I seriously wish there was a car to take us down.
Travel Companion 3: It will be fine. Suck it up.
Me: Hey travel companion 3, can you take one more picture of me and the view?
A few minutes later:
Me: Where did the guys go?
Travel Companion 2: See you guys down there! HA HA HA!
Travel Companion 3: Did that seriously just happen?
Me: It happened. That might be the laziest thing I've ever encountered.
Travel Companion 3: I'm going to say some not nice things when we get down there.
Thirty minutes later:
Me: I hate you all. Lazy. Just lazy.
Travel Companion 1: If it makes you feel better the driver gave us a really hard time. "You don't let ladies take the car? You not a gentleman."
Me: Couldn't have said it better myself.
After a day of education, exercise, and heat, we went to get some pizza. It was good. I liked it. I came home and ate at Beau Joe's and felt the same way about their pizza. Isn't this just awful?
I went to Naples and all I got were some awkward memories...at least it was more enjoyable than Athens, Greece. And I think we can all agree that after being considered a Turkish Tramp, this was quite the change.
Next up? My trip to Vatican City...