I always feel like my blog titles sound like the name of a Berenstain Bear book. Remember those? Those rocked. My childhood is full of little lessons from those books. But I digress.
Have you ever had one of those days when you just aren’t clicking with someone? It could be your husband, your boyfriend, a friend, a sibling, or a parent. In my case, it was myself not clicking with my dad…starting at 2am on Friday morning. That’s right, friends. 2am.
Growing up I remember begging my parents to let me sleep with our dogs. The answer was always no. Absolutely not. Never gonna happen. Well, things change when your dog turns 16, can’t see, can’t hear, has issues sleeping, shivers uncontrollably, and wakes up at 1am. That’s right, friends. 1am I was awoken by one of the most ungodly sounds imaginable. It wasn’t a bark, it wasn’t a whine, it sounded like she was being tortured.
Shelby the dog started waking up at 1am sometime over the summer. The doctor told us she probably wakes up and doesn’t know where she is…due to the Alzheimer’s. I’m totally not joking. So, I started sleeping with her from 1am-whenever.
Then I started complaining. Why you ask? Well, apparently my neck is a fantastic pillow. Apparently she snores. Oh. Did I mention the morning she fell off my bed at 3am, then got stuck under the bed and started whimpering? I couldn’t find her. It was like that scene in “Poltergeist,” when the kid gets sucked into the TV.
So, to shut me up, my mom went out and bought Shelby a portacrib. Yes. A portacrib. Like a child. We put her in at bedtime, thinking she would be happy that she was in a warm house and happy to be in her own bed. NOPE! 1am wake up call for Dayna.
I know at this point you’re asking yourself, “Why is Dayna dealing with the dog’s shenanigans?” I ask myself the same question everyday at 1am. I was told, “They don’t hear it.” THE LIES! I know they are sitting in bed and laughing and saying, “Don’t get up, Dayna will handle it.”
Won’t I make a great wife/mother? I’m going to be amazing!
Anyway. After falling down the stairs, Shelby got a sore, it got infected, and she went on antibiotics. The antibiotics made her sick, so she had to go on another medication. We were warned that this medication could cause “bathroom issues.” AND OUT OF MY BED!
This is what happened Friday morning:
I woke up at 1:30 to the sad sounds of whining, but told myself she would fall back asleep…so I covered my head with a pillow.
30 minutes later:
Me (A large shadow is hovering over my bed): AAAAHHHH! AAAHHH! AAAHHH!
Dad: What are doing?
Me: JESUS CHRIST! WHAT THE HELL? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Dad: I’m bringing Shelby to you.
Me: I don’t want her. That’s why I didn’t get her. Why do you think there is a pillow over my head?
Dad: I don’t know. Here (drops Shelby on the bed).
Me: No. Seriously. I don’t want her.
The sound of my door closing and him leaving me with Shelby.
Later that day…
Me: Seriously? What was that?
Dad: Yeah. What was that? You are ridiculous. I’ve never heard you swear before.
Me: Are you kidding me? You were hovering over my bed, starring at me! You’re lucky I didn’t hit you.
Dad: You threw a pillow at me!
Me: You’re lucky that’s all I did.
Dad: I think we learned an important lesson today. If you’re ever attacked while sleeping, we’ll definitely know!
Me: Wow. That warms my heart. I’m still pissed off.
Dad: Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Me: Well, with Shelby in my bed, that’s a definite possibility.
*Yes. We are aware that Shelby sounds pathetic. I know you’re thinking it’s her time. We have been assured by the vet that it is not her time…She’s a trooper, so am I.