My Big Fat Visit To Greece

First stop on my whirlwind tour of Europe? Athens, Greece. Now, I should forewarn you all that my tour of Athens took place following a three-hour flight from London, England. A flight where I sat in the middle seat and woke up with hot flashes every 20 minutes. We arrived at 3am…

Upon arriving to a deserted airport, I insisted that we take some time to clean ourselves up in the bathroom, as we hadn’t showered in 24 hours. I changed clothes, I put my hair up, I washed my face, I almost cried because I knew we still had a 12-hour day ahead of us. WELCOME TO GREECE!

An hour later we headed out into the Mediterranean morning. This is where we caught a cab. Now it should be stated that I’m not really a cab person. Like they kind of freak me out. My travel companion asked the driver to take us to the dock to board a cruise ship.

As we sat in the back of the cab, I kept thinking, “Oh. My. Gosh. This is The Bone Collector. Oh. My. Gosh. This guy is taking us to an undisclosed location to murder us. Oh. My. Gosh. I’m going to die.” Of course you’re thinking I’m ridiculous and over-reacting. REALLY? REALLY? You didn’t sit in a cab at 4am, driving in the middle of the high way, at 100mph, while your travel companion kept looking at the map with a concerned look on her face, followed by us taking an exit with graffiti filled buildings. WELCOME TO GREECE!

We arrived at the dock at 4:30am, where we would wait until 7am for the ship to dock. Did I mention he dropped us on the wrong side of the dock, so we arrived at our dock after a 30-minute walk? I know what you’re thinking, isn’t this the country with all the protest going on? Yes. Yes it is. WELCOME TO GREECE!

We waited. The boat arrived. We had 30 minutes to freshen up before heading out on an eight-hour tour. Oh. My. Gosh. Isn’t that the theme to Gilligan’s Island? Anyway, I digress.

We saw some ruins. It was hot. We saw some sculptures. It was hot. We went shopping. It was hot. I found a Starbucks…that rocked my world. Why? Free Wi-Fi that worked. Holla!

Also, this wonderful conversation happened…

Travel Companion: Who is that a sculpture of?

Me: I think it’s Zeus.

Travel Companion: No. Sign says Poseidon.

Two minutes later...

Travel Companion: Who is that a sculpture of?

Me: It’s the same face as the last one. Must be Poseidon.

Travel Companion: No. Sign says Zeus.

Me: Oh. My. Gosh. This is bullshit.

Travel Companion: Yeah. I think I’m done with this. Also, why are all the genitals cut off?

Me: Seriously. I’m really wishing I would have stayed on the boat and showered.

Travel Companion: Right? Yeah. I definitely smell like a homeless person.

I love that I look so happy in this picture. "I'm in Greece! Take my picture." No. What is happening in that mind of mine? "I'm literally going to kick someone in the face soon. What is that smell? Oh. My. Gosh. I think it's me."

Note: This blog may not present an accurate description of Athens, Greece. I can not be held responsible for my feelings on only three hours of sleep.