Naples...An Education

I’m about to head back to work and realize that I need to get all of my travel blogs done. So where were we? Ah yes, I was heading to Naples, Italy. From Naples we would drive to Pompeii to tour the city and hike Mt. Vesuvius. I had never hiked a volcano, so I was very excited about the prospect. It was an eight-hour day and let’s just say, I learned a lot of, um, well, hmm, interesting facts about Pompeii’s extra-curricular activities. 

Pompeii:

As previously discussed, I didn’t wear the headphones on these tours. I’m not into having things touch me when it’s 100 degrees out and I’m surrounded by thousands of people. Looking back, I probably should have worn the headphones in Pompeii. It would have saved this semi-conservative girl quite a few shocks.

Walking through the city:

Travel Companion: So that’s where they kept the gladiators. You know, women used to pay A LOT of money to be with gladiator.

Me: I know. I’ve seen the movie Gladiator. I know all about it. Anyway, do you hear her keep saying look at the arrows in the stone walkways?

Travel Companion: Yeah.

Me: Is it just me, but I’m not seeing arrows, I’m seeing, um…

Travel Companion: You’re not seeing things. That’s a penis. It’s a penis carved into a stone walkway.

Me: I knew it! Is she saying why?

Travel Companion: She keeps saying that it’s pointing to some street that we’ll go down.

Me: Huh. Um. Okay. Weird.

Travel Companion: Yeah. I’m gonna take a picture of it.

Waiting in line to enter a small building:

Me: Why do I keep hearing her say, “It was like McDonald’s?”

Travel Companion: I have no idea. I hope this line moves fast, it’s so hot out here.

Me (as we enter): OH! MY! GOSH! WHAT IS GOING ON?

Travel Companion: YES! Best thing I’ve seen the whole trip. I get the McDonald’s reference. Look at the menu!

Me: This used to be a whore house! So gross. What is going on. Oh! My! Gosh! Stop taking pictures of “the menu.”

Travel Companion: This is fantastic. I can probably tell you the names…

Me: Stop. No. Stop talking. Well, at least we have an answer about the “arrows” now.

Mt. Vesuvius:

And so after being scarred for life, we headed to Mt. Vesuvius. Did I mention that we would be hiking this volcano at 1pm in 100 degree weather? Did I mention that at this point my body had swelled so much that it probably looked like I was five months pregnant? Oh, did I mention that this isn’t like hiking a mountain, where as you climb it gets cooler? No! As you climb, in the ash, it only gets hotter. Like Hell.

Look at my face. No, a bee didn’t sting me. Freaking Mediterranean heat!

I was willing to put all of this aside because I was hiking a volcano. Now, I think we know that I have a tendency to romanticize things. So, while I was hiking this beast of a volcano all I could think about was that movie Dante’s Peak. I kept thinking I was going to see some lava. HELLO! If there were lava, we’d be in trouble. So when I got to the top and saw this…. I was a little annoyed.

DIRT! Anyway. We stayed up there for about thirty minutes and enjoyed the view of Pompeii. Then this happened:

Travel Companion 1: I really don't feel like walking down.

Me: It won't be that bad. At least it's down hill.

Travel Companion 2: I seriously wish there was a car to take us down.

Travel Companion 3: It will be fine. Suck it up.

Me: Hey travel companion 3, can you take one more picture of me and the view?

A few minutes later:

Me: Where did the guys go?

Travel Companion 2: See you guys down there! HA HA HA!

Travel Companion 3: Did that seriously just happen?

Me: It happened. That might be the laziest thing I've ever encountered.

Travel Companion 3: I'm going to say some not nice things when we get down there.

Thirty minutes later:

Me: I hate you all. Lazy. Just lazy.

Travel Companion 1: If it makes you feel better the driver gave us a really hard time. "You don't let ladies take the car? You not a gentleman."

Me: Couldn't have said it better myself.

After a day of education, exercise, and heat, we went to get some pizza. It was good. I liked it. I came home and ate at Beau Joe's and felt the same way about their pizza. Isn't this just awful? 

I went to Naples and all I got were some awkward memories...at least it was more enjoyable than Athens, Greece.  And I think we can all agree that after being considered a Turkish Tramp, this was quite the change. 

Next up? My trip to Vatican City...