Bird Suspicion

I think Alfred Hitchcock may have ruined me. I find myself suspicious of many things including men in wheelchairs with binoculars, chocolate syrup, cat burglars, and of course heights and doppelgangers.

This week I added to my list of phobias. Birds. Not bird, singular. Birds, plural.

While driving home from work the other day, I looked up at a billboard to find a mass gathering of birds. This is when I found myself thinking, “That’s suspicious.”

Then yesterday while riding with a school bus of 8th graders for a field trip, I looked out the window and what did I see? A mass gathering of birds on a rooftop. This is when I found myself thinking, “That’s suspicious.”

I then began to reflect on my relationship with birds (yes, I was trying to drone out the kids around me who were yelling and trying to get truck drivers to honk, some things never change) and realized that ever since watching “The Birds” I’ve always found birds to be suspect. I mean really, what business do 100 birds have gathering on a billboard? I fear they are planning some kind of scheme. I fear that at some point I will be running to my car, chased by birds, who will proceed to peck at my windshield.

I know. There are bigger things to worry about in life (famine, violence, education) and yet there I sat thinking what these birds could be up to. Suspicious of these (most likely) innocent creatures. Thanks a lot Alfred Hitchcock!