Birds of a Feather

A few months ago my mom called me and said, “I’m thinking of doing something.” I of course had to brace myself as this came following her phone call from Mexico where she informed me she got a henna tattoo. So, I asked what she was up to and she told me she wanted feathers in her hair. I FREAKED! I said, “Absolutely not. That is a fad. Please don’t come home with feathers.” So, a few months has passed and the following conversation happened yesterday on the phone:

Mom: Well, I did it.

Me: Did what?

Mom: I got the feathers.

Me: Please tell me you’re joking. I can’t take it. Please tell me you are joking.

Mom: I’m not. Dad and I were walking by a salon. I walked in and asked how much it would be. They told me 15 dollars. So I did it! It actually turned out to be more that 15 though.

Me: Oh, mom! How much more?

Mom: Well, see it was misleading! The lady told me she liked to do things in 3’s, so we picked out six feathers. What she didn’t tell me was that they were $15 a piece. It was 90 dollars!

Me: OH MY GOSH! Are you kidding me? Are they special feathers, like white peacocks? 90 dollars!

Mom: Yeah. I thought dad was going to be sick. It was like the time you thought those frames were 8 dollars and when you went to pay they were 80. Anyway they’re rooster feathers and I really like them.

Me: Yeah, but if you recall I returned them a week later! You can’t return rooster feathers! ROOSTER? I could have gone to a farm and picked you rooster feathers. I could have sewn them in for 20 bucks.

At this point I have opened the garage.

Me: Wait. What’s happening in the garage? Who’s car is that? What is going on?

Mom: Oh, yeah. Our car broke down on the highway. Well it didn’t break down, but some smoke was coming out of the hood.

Me: I’m sorry. Your car broke down on the highway and you led with the feather story?

Mom: Well, yeah. I knew you’d be mean about the feathers, so I wanted to get it over with.

I’m happy to report that the feathers are cute in her hair. I can’t judge her too harshly. We’ve all gone through the fads. Remember scrunchies?