Antisocial Tendencies

Last night I was provided with reason 3,764 for why I need to get married. This reason came to me in the form of Family Home Evening…Singles Ward Style.

For those of you who are not familiar The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormon), let me give you a little background about Family Home Evening (FHE). According to the church website, “FHE is a special time set aside each week that brings family members together and strengthens their love for each other, helps them draw closer to Heavenly Father, and encourages them to live righteously.”

For young, single Mormons it is a little different. It’s a place to gather, have a spiritual thought, and socialize. But…if you’re anything like me…it’s fodder for my blog. Last night was some quality blog material!

I arrived to FHE as I do every Monday. If I miss one I feel like I will have missed my prince charming sitting next to me…hasn’t happened yet...but that is besides the point. It started like any other Monday, hymn/prayer/announcements. Then the lesson started.

“You are a different generation from previous ones. You are the technology generation. You don’t know how to communicate. You’re always online or texting. Tonight we are going to learn how to communicate.”

Now, here, I take offense. I know plenty of people who are older, who are always online or texting.

This is when the question, “What parts of your face to you need to communicate?” Eyes, mouth, nose. Yes…a face was drawn on the board. “That’s right! If you don’t smile or look at people, people wont talk to you.”

Now, here, I disagree. I personally am an advocate of the nose. If you smell strange, I’m so done talking to you.

This is the point of the lesson when volunteers were called upon to practice the art of conversation in front of everyone. We had to determine whether the conversation was healthy or not. It was SO awkward. People started screaming out ““Narcissistic” or “Uninterested.”

I wanted to scream out, “PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!”

It became apparent that people truly didn’t know how to talk. I was counting down the seconds before I could leave! When would it be over?

So, after the fourth conversation it was 8pm. That is when a gentleman stood up and said, “That was great. Now we’re going to practice. Everyone form two lines. You will chat with the person across from you for two minutes.”

Yep…Speed Communicating.

At this point I got out of dodge. I figured I could enjoy some quality communication education by watching the show “The O’Neals.” I figure Ryan and Tatum O’Neal are the perfect people to watch on how not to communicate.

Oh…did I mention that my degree is in communications? Oh…did I mention that prince charming was not sitting next to me? Oh…did I mention that I have a sneaky suspicion that people have labeled us as anti-social young adults?

I should also mention that if you see me and I’m not looking at you, I’m frowning, or talking only about myself…I TOTALLY DON’T WANT TO TALK! Anyway. Looking forward to getting married so I can plan my own FHE. I will totally dominate.