Negative Nancy

I have always been a pessimist. I always focus on the negative in situations. It is a trait I am not proud of, but recently discovered it to be hereditary.

The other night I graciously accompanied my dad on a trip to “Vitamin Cottage.” Of course by “graciously” I mean I tagged along. During the car ride I can tell you that we embarked on a list of “I Hates” that left me laughing.

Dad: I hate when people I see on a regular basis call and say their first name…pause…then their last. I mean really, I KNOW YOU! I TALK TO YOU EVERYDAY!

Me: I hate when people say, “Don’t let this deter you.” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Dad: I hate that unhealthy people work in health food stores. It’s not right.

Me: I hate when random people come up to me in grocery stores and start talking about the food I have in my cart. I mean, what is that?

Dad: I hate that this store doesn’t have bags! COME ON!

Me: I hate that that man is wearing his bicycle helmet in the store…and I bet he’ll go home and tell people how far he rode his bike today.

Dad: I hate that the bananas purchased the other day are “organic.” I personally like a little pesticide in my fruit. It’s delicious!

Me: I hate that I woke up early to get dressed and let contractors in that DIDN’T EVEN SHOW UP!

Dad: Well, I hate that I woke up to no Wheaties and no Cheerios. I had to eat Honey Nut Cheerios. They were so sweet I thought my head would explode.

Me: I hate when people put cryptic or depressing Facebook updates.

Dad: Yeah, well, I just hate Facebook.

Me: How can you hate Facebook? You’re famous on there for your great one-liners!

Dad: I hate that too.

Me: You love it!